Letters

I write letters to my daughter, Sarah. I have since shortly after my husband and I got married. We did not have any children for 5 years after we got married, but I would write to her still.

At the time I just titled the letters “Dear Child”, then when we found out we were having a daughter back in some month of 2009 I started writing letters to “Dear Daughter”… then when we finally decided on a name, about 8 weeks before she was born, I started writing letters to “Dear Sarah”.

I did not write in the book every day, or even every week. Sometimes a whole 1/2 a year would go by before I would write in the book. Whenever I felt melancholy about not having a child, or when I felt happy and excited about the possibility of having a child, (I didn’t know if it was possible at the time for us to have children or not, but figured if I wasn’t physically possible that we would adopt, I just planned on having children somehow some way, Lord willing), or whenever I saw someone else with a child and bits of jealousy would creep in, I would write.

I would tell Sarah (I didnt know it would be Sarah at the time) how much I loved her. How much daddy and I were looking forward to sharing the good things that God has blessed us with with her. How much we hoped and prayed that she would come to know Jesus and how important he was (and still is) to our lives.

I wrote to her that I was continuing on the legacy that my parents started, of praying for our children’s mates…and their children’s mates. I wrote that I prayed whoever she was that she would find someone who loved the Lord as wholeheartedly as her daddy did and who would appreciate her for her and help her to become closer to Christ.

I wrote to her that I pray and hope that she can experience the joy of being a mother someday and can feel the love that a mother feels when looking at her child for the first time.

I wrote to her many things and still continue to do so.

Why do I do this? Originally it was just a way to get through the feelings I was having at the time that seemed to just burst through me, I HAD to get them out of my head and onto paper. Now, its a way of letting her know, should something ever happen to me, that she was loved before she was ever born. That she was prayed for before she was born, that she was a blessing to my life, and that as the years go on, I still get joy out of being her mother, despite some of the frustrations I go through as a mom.

I plan on continuing this for as long as I am able and giving the book to her someday. I am not sure when, either her graduation, her wedding day  or sometime when I feel its time, but when she looks at these letters I pray that she does not just think of me, but think of the one who wrote love letters to her before even I was born.

These letters are so much more powerful than mine are, and describe a love even greater than mine ever could hope to come close to being.

This song gets close to what I am trying to tell her.  Hope it touches your heart.

“Written in Red”

VERSE 1
In letters of crimson God wrote His love
On a hillside so long, long ago
For you and for me Jesus died
And love’s greatest story was told

CHORUS
I love you, I love you
That’s what Calvary said
I love you, I love you
I love you written in red

VERSE 2
Down through the ages God wrote His love
With the same hands that suffered and bled
Giving all that He had to give
A message so easily read

CHORUS
I love you, I love you
That’s what Calvary said
I love you…
Oh precious is the flow
That makes me white as snow
No other fount I know
Nothing but the blood of Jesus

CHORUS
I love you, I love you
That’s what Calvary said
I love you, I love you
I love you written in red ”

You can also watch/listen to the song here .

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