Steadfast

My heart is steadfast, O God; I will sing and make music with all my soul.
Awake, harp and lyre!
I will awaken the dawn.
I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations;
I will sing of you among the peoples.
For great is your love, higher than the heavens;
your faithfulness reaches to the skies.
Be exalted, O God, above the heavens, and let your glory be
over all the earth.

Psalm 108:1-5

This was the Psalm that I “happened” to be reading this morning.

Ugh, this morning and last night all rolled into one big emotional stressful mess.  Yesterday on the way home, my husband noticed a knocking sound in our engine, he pulled over and checked the oil (which was bone dry and smoking!), poured in the 1 quart that we had in the car, in case of emergencies, was able to limp it to the nearest gas station and get some more oil and limp it the rest of the way home. The whole time with this horrible knocking sound coming from the engine.

Now mind you, I am due in 2 weeks, but this being our 2nd child, I could go into labor at anytime. This vehicle that this happened on is our main source of transportation.

So Cris came home and we had some decisions to make. 1 was made for us in the fact that our car is not safe to drive after having talked to my father in law and another mechanic friend who both think that a rod is blown in our car (for non mechanics, this is bad. Means our engine needs to be replaced which means $$$$$ that we are not sure is worth putting into a car that we were not planning on having forever!). OH YAY!  So, more decisions to be made. Do we fix the mustang (a ’67 289 V8) up and use that as our main source of transportation with soon to be 2 kids in tow, do we buy a cheap used car just to get us through till we can afford a better one? And if we DO buy a used car, where are we going to find said car to buy being as we live in a small, nice, but small town with a few car lots and nothing in our price range.

ALSO, the money we had been trying to save to put a fence up in our yard is now going to be going towards either fixing one of our cars or buying a new (to us) car.

All this put together, along with the fact that my husband was stressed and I couldn’t help him, my daughter was tired, I was tired, and 38 weeks pregnant all made for a stressful night. Tried to sleep last night and did not get much sleep so this morning I was even more tired and stressed as I was trying to figure out how we could get the ‘stang over to the shop to check it out to make sure that ITS safe and reliable without a car, couldn’t find the trickle charger to charge the battery (because being the smart car owners we are, we forgot to unhook the battery so it wouldn’t run out of juice and thus, no power to get to the shop)…I was stressing big time.

I knew I needed to pray and I needed to read the bible. I needed to get out of this downward cycle of pity, frustration and anger over our situation.

I sat down and opened up my bible and the above scripture is what I read.

After talking with my mom and her mentioning something along the lines of “If I don’t have faith that God is going to work this out, then what is my faith being used for?”… not saying that everything always works out according to OUR plans, but God has a plan and there is probably a reason this happened at this time. So I got a good dose of spiritual boosting there and then I sit down and open my bible to read the above scripture. WOW. Talk about timing.

This verse got me to thinking, IS my heart steadfast on God? Will  I praise him among the nations (whatever nations I am among!)… and then “Great is your love” and “your faithfulness reaches to the skies”…that hit me right between the eyes.

God IS faithful! He DOES have great love…despite whatever I am going through at the time, or struggles I am having, that does not negate God’s love and faithfulness. Me stressing does not make God less…God.

How comforting that was! How refreshing! It was like a splash of cold water right when you needed it.  God’s word is so awesome and his timing is perfect. We are still trying to figure out a way to get the car taken care of (trickle charger ON), and make sure we have a vehicle in case of a midnight labor call (that seems to be my specialty…going to the ER at o-dark-thirty in the morning, late night, whichever you want to call it), but in all of that I can rest assured that my God is greater and bigger than those worries and concerns and his love and faithfulness are not going to run out on me just because of a little car trouble.

That’s what I’m holding onto today.

I am deciding to be steadfast in the fact that God loves me,

I am his,

I have been redeemed

and I will praise him among the nations.

 

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