Fit2b Girls Course Review

I am a group of reviewers who are looking at the new Girls Course that Fit2b, an online fitness studio, has just put out.

Being the mom of 3 girls and having just gone through pregnancy #4 where my oldest attended the birth, this course came at the perfect time!!!

I have always been open with the girls about what goes on in our bodies, especially since I have 3 girls and one bathroom…there is no privacy in our house. Which is great for teachable moments…just not always great when I would like a few solitary moments to myself to pee in silence.

Since learning of baby #4 for our family, my girls have been super curious about all things related to baby, including asking questions about my changing body.

Sometimes the questions come in the shape of “when am I going to look like that?” Or “when will my body get that”? Or “How will the baby get from your tummy to our house”? Or variations of all of those.

When Beth Learn, founder and creator of Fit2b studios mentioned that they were talking about a girls course that would cover changes to a womans body during puberty, more than just the basic “your body will change and there will be a period because your eggs that get released during ovulation have not been fertilized yet” (to paraphrase my own first inept attempt to explain something to a 5 yr old when asked about periods and babies when my first child noticed it)…she threw a whole bunch of stuff into the course; correct anatomy drawings, explanations of different menstrual products and HOW they are used, she threw in why different parts ache during different parts of the month, and also covered what would happen during a gyno exam. I am so excited to have a resource that speaks to girls and women in language that is easy to understand and also easy for me to jump around in. If I am not ready to cover a certain topic, I just jump to a different one in the course because each is set to work together with the whole course, but not set up so that you can’t view one part without having to view the whole thing. The sections are independent of each other.

The other thing that excites me about this is the printables!!!! I love, love, love (!) finding resources that allow me to print things off to correspond with whatever subject I happen to be teaching at the time.

One of my favorite ones that I printed off 4 copies of, one for the 7 year old, 5 year old, 3 year old and myself, is a picture of a human skeleton. On it are lines on each side of the body. On the left are fill in the blanks “the word for this part of the body starts with a C (or f, or s, etc)”. Then on the right side of the skeleton are the words “fill in a positive word about your body that starts with the same letter (s or t or f, etc)”.

This is changing the language for women! If I can teach my children to have body positive language about their bodies, that will just help them to have the mindset of their bodies being an awesome gift!!! Too often I see women that shame their own bodies, myself included at times, instead of being grateful and recognizing my body for the awesome things it can do!

I was so excited recently when we were at our local hardware store and my kids saw the skeletons put up for Halloween decor… Claire (5), said to Sarah (7) “thats so creepy! Look at that!” Sarah responded “thats not scary! Those are just what the bones look like inside of your body…why would they put that up if they are trying to scare people?! Hahahaha!”

I may or may not have done a huge fist pump in the air followed along with a “Yessssss!” When I overheard that. Already, the language is being changed. I am hopeful that this course will also end with my girls being able to say of their own bodies “I am not scared of that.. that just means x,y,z” when changes occur. The language will change when the knowledge changes… Can’t wait to find out more about the course!!!

For more information about Fit2b, feel free to click on the affiliate link below.


If you are interested in the girls course specifically, click HERE.

Little spoiler alert for you: this is the best price for the course! $29.99 for unlimited access to the girls course!!! Get it now while the price is this low!!!

Come back tomorrow for review #2 of the Fit2b Girls Course!

*As an affiliate of Fit2b, by you clicking on the link I provide and buying the content on the site, I get a little percentage of that sale. That then goes towards family fun, and self care for momma..i.e. occasional coffees! Thankyou!*


Beauty from Ashes #2

This is what beauty looks like sometimes.

This is a picture of my husband walking away from me, towards our house, with our 2 week old son and our girls inside.

My husband called up a local air bnb and told them about my struggle with postpartum depression and anxiety and how I haven’t gotten a single nights sleep since before our baby was born….or after. He worked out a deal with them for me to stay the night there. A nice house, somewhere close to home so if things weren’t as they seemed, or if my anxiety took over, I could drive home if need be.

Then he told me, after a girls day out (that he also worked out with a dear friend of mine), that I was going to be sleeping elsewhere that night. He would set an alarm to feed Nathan, I could take the pump with me, but I was in no way to set an alarm and that I was to get rest.

This was so hard for me to do but the doctor prescribed it and my husband followed through with it.

We can’t afford this, we put it on a credit card, what we can’t afford even more is for me to have an even worse mental breakdown dealing with the lack of sleep on top of the depression and the anxiety.

I got a blessed 9 hours of sleep and am pretty sure I didn’t move a single bit from the time my head hit the pillow until I woke the next morning.

I woke up to pump milk and went back to sleep for another 2 hours.

I woke up still tired, but I got more REST in that single night than I had in the past 2 weeks.

I needed that rest because so often I feel like a pile of ashes…..burnt out and sitting in a pile in a hearth, waiting to be stirred into a burning fire again.

Not because of the people I’m around using me and discarding me, but because this is just a side effect of how my depression and anxiety manifests itself.

Despite all of that…there is beauty.

I got sent away from my home, from my family, and from my bed….not because of hate, or strife, or anything like that, but because of the love a man has for his hurting and aching wife. My husband wanted to ensure that I finish the week off with a semblance of rest and a reminder of what I can feel like when I get it. This. This is beautiful. This is beauty.

This is a representation of what I felt like when I woke up and saw myself in the mirror the next morning.

I was able to see a glimpse of the woman I am. The woman that is NOT defined by the depression. The woman who is able to see hope.

My friend, Adam Nettesheim drew this picture (to see 2 other versions of this print and to order a copy for yourself, please click on the link embedded in his name. This is NOT an affiliate post…my friend is just super talented and does amazing work!), and while its a picture he did to help support the cause of bringing awareness to sex trafficking that is so prevelant in our society, it rang a bell with me, before I ever even knew the reason behind the drawing.

For me, the picture resonates truth. As a woman who sometimes feels broken down by lies and by shame and falling into despair and dealing with the lies that depression and anxiety brings that tells you you are never good enough, never wanted enough and never enough to be desired. Let alone desired by a king. It represents the inner struggle to see as you truly are. And the truth of the matter that God takes our broken parts and covers over it all with a blanket of love that sees past the hurt and confusion and despair and brings forth hope.

Sometimes he uses husbands to do that.

This is a glimpse into the put together me. Look! I have on clean clothes, comfy shoes, and even jewelry and my hair is brushed…but that man? The man beside me with an awesome beard? He’s beautiful. Inside and out. Last night, he was definitely the one to point out the beauty, that God brings from ashes, to me…thankyou God for this man.

(Beauty from)Ashes #1

This is a hard one to write. It has been a long time coming.

The words and thoughts rattle around in my head like hamsters running on a rusty exercise ball…sometimes there is a smooth spot and sometimes it’s a laborious process that I have to work and work and work to get through the tight rusted together spots…

For the past 6 months or so I have been seeing a therapist. Not physical, not occupational, but as I described it to my 5 year old daughter: a mind doctor.

I started going because I was still dealing with depression that I have dealt with from past births, (see post #1, #2 and #3, also related) also PTSD from the car accident I was in 15 years ago.

My body has finally started healing from it, I figured it was time to start healing my mind too.

Sigh. This is where it gets tough.

Going through therapy I have learned a few things…mostly about myself and how to deal with things that trigger my anxiety and PTSD.

Some of those triggers happen out of nowhere…like on a trip to a ladies retreat 2 years ago with my baby sister (who is in her 20’s btw…not a baby) and having a panic attack out of nowhere because I couldn’t see the lines that were on the side of the road. Commence a tense conversation that ended in tears because I was reliving when I was hit head on. Now mind you, my sister was being the picture perfect driver, no swerving, no veering…no…nothing. I had to explain that I still get panic attacks when my husband, whom I trust with not only my life, but the life of my children with, is driving. My sister, who is no stranger to PTSD or trauma or anxiety, understood where I was coming from and got that there was nothing I could do to avoid those triggers and it had nothing to do with her, but everything to do with how my body and mind process the information coming in. Once the episode was over and we were seated talking and crying and comforting (she was comforting, I was mostly just blubbering), and I was able to remind myself that I was safe, we were able to move on.

The more I go to therapy, the more I am coming to realize that the triggers can come and go and they are not always the same…there are a few that are, but often they are disjointed, seemingly unconnected and they come out of nowhere. Unbidden. Unwanted. Flashes of memory that send my mind into a whirl, my body trying to grasp at the fleeting bits of air that are getting sucked out of the space I am in (it could be indoors, outdoors…it doesn’t matter and doesn’t make logical sense), and makes my jaw clench, my hands ball up into fists and sends my heart pounding and racing.

I get into these fight or flight modes that often I don’t realize until after the episode the reason of why it happened…and it leaves me feeling…stressed. Angry. Hurt. Vulnerable. And scared.

Because of those feelings that come up, and I am still learning to recognize them for what they are, the feelings overflow from my mind into anger. Anger at the kids making noise. Anger at Cris sitting in the wrong seat. Anger at the fact that a dish I dirtied is not magically clean…down deep it is actually Anger at the fact that I am scared. That is what is at the heart of it. Fear. Fear that I will be a hurt, broken bodied 19 year old stuck in the hospital again having to relearn how to walk, write and use the bathroom again.

Fear. An ugly 4 lettered word. Depression grabs hold of that word and fills it out…puts flesh on the bones of the word and knows how to work it’s way insiduously through the rooms of my mind, slowly filling up every area until I feel stuck being overcome by the FEAR. Fear that I am not good enough. Fear that I am not loved. Fear that because I have a broken body, I am not up to the task of leading my kids anywhere. Fear that I am not whole. Fear that I will be stuck in the dark hole of depression forever and never be able to find my way out. Fear that because I have experienced brokenness that that is all anyone can see and that means that I am not worthy.

Worthy of what? Worthy of beauty. Worthy of goodness. Worthy of Grace or of Mercy.

More coming later….


Tonight I was watching a show that dealt with the issue of PTSD.

Then the next episode was talking about trauma and the issues that stem from it.

I found myself crying when the subject was brought up.

I have been seeing a therapist for a while now. Actually, two therapists. One to deal with the physical after effects of a traumatic incident(s), and the other to deal with the mental effects that are much harder to deal with than the physical side effects.

With each new session I have with the physical side, I find more and more ways for my body to get back to ‘normal’. Many of the times I have to ask the PT’s “does this look right?”, ” is this normal? It doesn’t FEEL normal”….and they remind me that its because for the past fifteen years what has become my “normal” is actually skewed.

When I relearned how to walk in the care home, I remember HATING the tools that helped me get to where I needed to be. The gait belt, the parallel bars, the wheelchair, the bedside commode, the clock that signaled the time for my occupational therapist to come in and help train my muscles to remember how to write, how to put on socks, and even how to use the toilet properly…. The physical therapists helped me with the muscles strengthening, and the occupational therapist helped me with the day to day living side of things. I hated those tools, but at the same time, they were what got me out of that bed and walking and writing again. What helped me have the ability to put on socks by myself again.

Watching the show, brought to mind all of the physical side of things, but it brought up a lot of the mental side of things too.

Just like the physical therapists have helped me deal with things that, for years, I thought was normal, the therapist I am seeing for the mental effects is also helping me learn that not everything is normal there either.

I remember having a conversation with my brother in law who has served two tours over in the middle east…we were discussing the fact that his PTSD would rear its ugly head when he would drive by the base and hear the guns going off…or when he smelled something, he would automatically be transported to where he spent his time as a gunner in the military. He would tell us that he would look up and one second he would be back there and the next (what felt like a) second he would be a few miles down the road.

I remember kind of smiling patronisingly and saying “that’s not PTSD….” And they told me that it was an official diagnosis…I told them “it can’t be. That’s just normal…I should know! I have that happen to me often enough, that’s just memories!” My sister in law and brother in law both kind of looked at me in disbelief and gently and kindly informed me that “no, Becky, that’s called PTSD”.

Fast forward a bit….talked to my therapist and sure enough. The description I have given to her of my symptoms and yep. Confirmation of PTSD diagnosis.

We are slowly peeling back the layers of the trauma I have gone through in my life. Oh how I hate that, just like I hated those tools to help me learn to walk…but yet…we are dealing with things.

Trauma that happened when I was just a kid. Trauma that happened when I was a teenager, and trauma that has happened to me as an adult.

A lot of the things that come up at times have surprised me with their ferocity.

Things I thought I had dealt with because I wasn’t thinking about them all the time…come to realize some of them have never been dealt with, they have just become buried so my life could continue…but they, like the physical aspect of the trauma, are rearing their ugly head, reminding me of a slow trickle over time.

My gait was messed up for fifteen years, and my foot was turned in on itself, like a backwards ‘C’…I would walk on the outside edge of my right foot….that in turn affected my hip, which affected my back and which culminated in last year finally, my shoulder. I was seeing a physical therapist for almost 5 months, just to try to alleviate the pain I was having in my shoulder…ribs were out of place, feet were not in alignment, shoulders were out of whack…all thanks to one seemingly innocent foot being ‘normal’. When I started being able to walk with my foot flat(er) on the ground it ached. Oh the pain of having something touch a part of my body that was not used to touch… The inside of my foot. It made me cry…not because of the PAIN, there was ache there, but the pain was not. It just felt…so…weird. So…unnatural. I actually got a bit of a callous on the inside of that foot and NOW, it feels unnatural to even attempt to put my foot back in its old ‘normal’ position.

I am waiting for the day when the memories that come to me, often unbidden, of the sights and smells of a car accident, of the feeling of being held down as an infant while doctors tried to help with a kidney infection I had, of the feeling of confusion as a teenager who had hit puberty a bit earlier than my friends and having my grandpa try to “warm his hands up” while sticking them down my shirt, the fear I felt while trying to take care of my siblings while being threatened with physical harm from the neighbor kids because my skin was a different color….I am waiting, sometimes anxiously (the therapist is helping with that too!) For the day when those memories become not a sensitive spot, like my foot had, but more of a callous… Acknowledged and then moved on. Until that day comes, some of the memories get stuffed back down, only to come out, sometimes during therapy, and sometimes late at night, triggered by watching a TV show while I wait for my husband to finish work.

I am holding out hope that just like the physical effects that were portrayed in my body have slowly been changed for the betterment of the rest of my limbs and ligaments and even joints by retraining them to be where they need to be and to do the job that it needs to.. That one day my mind will be retrained as well. Even though my body is (still!) Healing from trauma I have gone through…I still have scars. No amount of retraining or changing to proper alignment can take those scars away… I expect to have mental scars as well.

I look at the physical scars and I see many things. I see where God saved my life. I see opportunities to give glory to Him because I am still alive. But I also see past pain and struggles and overcoming.

The mental hurts, aren’t always scarred over yet. Slowly but surely, working through them we are taking them out, piece by piece, sometimes too fast, and sometimes agonizingly slow (always at my pace because I have a great therapist), but letting each one see the light of day and start the process of healing so they can become old scars, callouses.

I can not go and change the past, or change the trauma I have lived through…but one day I won’t see, or feel, fresh wounds. I will only see the reminders of where I survived.


Fitting in Life

I wrote a blog yesterday after the thanksgiving rush of visiting family, getting last minute food made up, realizing that I left the leftovers of my favorite- roasted veggies- at my bestie and sister in laws house (Cassie, did mom steal them?), and realizing mayyyybe I shouldn’t have indulged in that uhm….number that ends in ee….pieces of pie, after all of that and after all of the mentioning of fitting in fitness and working out and being on my game as far as food goes and the feeling of being accomplished once I hit the workout and was able to get all the way through it without a child getting sick, or me not able to finish because I was out of breath…..(like you will be if you read my sentence out loud and not just in your head!)- I realized that sometimes its OK to take a minute.

Its ok to Take a pause.

Its ok to spend time with family and not focus on the next workout.

My world does not revolve around “working out”, and I dont think the founder of the online studio, Fit2B, wants that for ANYONE. If there is something I have learned from being a part of this amazing resource for the past 5 years, it is that she wants to enable people to be able to function for the rest of their LIFE. Not just be able to get through a workout, not just be able to lift a weight, she wants people to be able to be present in life to play with their kids, jump on a trampoline without peeing themselves, to have the resources to utilize proper alignment when working on a laptop late at night, or during the day (as I was typing this, I remembered a video thats called Align it Flat that is all about making our alignment work for us and I realized that I was having what I call- Sticky-outy-neck where your jaw juts forward and you hunch your shoulders because you are trying to see the too small print on the computer screen, even with your glasses on, and I fixed it!), she wants people to be able to be strong for the rest of their lives. If that means changing how you think of lifting the groceries out of the cart, or out of the car once home, or changing how you hinge at the hips to get the baby up and out of the crib, or sitting the toddler on the toilet, THAT is Fit2B’s aim.

I am taking strides to change my health, mental, physical, and spiritual, one little step at a time.

Yesterday at Thanksgiving with my family, I was able to have a conversation with my sister about how sometimes the shoes we wear effects our posture, which in turn can effect our mentrual cycles, and I never would have known that except for the resources that I have found as part of the online community that is Fit2b.

Monday, Fit2B is having an online sale – Cyber Monday- in which the premium membership is going to be on sale for $119! That is normally sold for $159!!! There are so many other options besides just the premium membership, but please take a minute to go to the page HERE to check out the sale thats going to be happening and see if there is anything that resonates with you.

The other resource that I plan on taking advantage of is the Sale over at The Tummy Team in which many of their rehab programs will be on sale as well. Fit2b and The Tummy Team often work together and the founders of each, Beth Learn, and Kelly Dean, are more than just co-workers, they are in real life friends, and enjoy bouncing off ideas and learning from each other. If you are interested in viewing a recorded video that they did Live that kind of went over some of the differences and similarities of the programs they offer, go HERE and see if anything stands out to you.


Happy Weekend and dont forget to check out Cyber Monday Sale over on Fit2b!

Sale Sale Sale!!!!

Hey there!

I don’t know how many of you  have been able to see my live video feeds on FB, but in them i mention some of the resources that have been helping me get my health back.

I mention the online fitness studio I am a part of, Fit2b, quite alot, and I wanted to share with you a sale they are doing for Cyber Monday!!!!

I am so excited for saving money, I wanted to make sure that you get that info and savings passed on to you!!!!

Check out their sales and see if there is something that resonates with you!

One of the many reasons that I love Fit2b, is the continual support I get from the online community. I have made friends online, that have transferred over into real life Mommy Friends who understand where I am at, and encourage me to get me where I want to be,  (Chris Church, I’m looking at you!) and those relationships are priceless to me.

Some of the workouts I have been utilizing lately have been a Kickboxing video, and more recently a Core Cardio workout. The kickboxing one is designated as HIIT workout (High Intensity Interval Training), and I feel strong and powerful and it gets my blood pumping! I get it done in 23 minutes, and for a person who hasn’t worked out cardio-wise in a long time, i had to work up to that time frame. The first time I was only able to do about 11 minutes due to a sick kid vomiting that put a damper on the whole day. Running back and forth from the bathroom to the couch to clean up said puke, and take care of her non-sick (until 2 days later) older sister and her younger sister (who got sick 4 days later) was a workout in stress management, i couldn’t add  anything else in.

The next day I was able to get about 13 minutes in when a phone call came in and honestly I was so happy because I just couldn’t do it anymore. Not because the workout hurt, but because my body wasnt used to moving and getting the blood flowing like that early in the day.

The day I was able to do the whole entire workout I cried. My husband was home and said just the right words “Good job babe” and that made me cry even more. Part of it was me acknowledging where the pause in my life had gotten me because I didn’t make time for myself during the different season of life that is growing and birthing and nursing a baby for 2 years.  I would do a workout here and there and sometimes it was because I just needed to do something for myself and that was my release-during that time I was so grateful for the 5-10 minute videos that showed things I could incorporate into my every day life, such as belly breaths, activating my Transverse Abdominus (abdominals? I cant remember the proper term for it), hip hinging and leg releases that enabled me to live and move and work on proper alignment during every day life. I am still grateful for those shorter videos, but also for the reason that I have found that I LOVE aerobic exercise! I love the thrill of getting my heart rate up, getting my blood pumping and finishing a workout strong! At least in this season of life I do. lol.

One of the really cool things about this workout studio is that I was able to do the workout with my husband in the room, my kids in the room and not have to worry about someone flaunting all of their goods for my whole family to see. That is huge for me. I love that there are kid workouts, and workouts designed to Bag a Better Booty! Bag a better Back! that utilize grocery bags full of canned goods. THIS IS REAL LIFE! THOSE are workout tools I have PLENTY of because everyone knows that a grocery bag is like a rabbit- they multiply when you aren’t looking!

There are so many good things about this fitness studio that I could go on and on, but for now, i wanted to encourage you to go over to their site HERE so you can look around for yourself to see what they offer, and what their sales are going to be on Cyber Monday!

Thanks and Enjoy!

Fitting in fitness

It’s been a long while since I have written anything.  Having 3 kids, 6 and under, and helping family members who have broken bones, and everything in between has a habit of just popping up and pushing writing to the side, as it (w)rightly should.

Now I am in a position where I can write.


I am trying to take back my health, take back my mental and physical  health as having three kids in 6 years has seemed to take a toll on me, and those have probably gotten the worst of it.


As before when I have been in good, and not so good, headspaces, I have tools I utilize to get there.

For my health, I have been making an effort, spurred on by my determination  to get and be better, (and by a visit to a few doctors that gave me information that I was not hoping to hear) to do some form of exercise  every day, changing eating habits,  and making time for my health.


I have been utilizing my membership with online fitness studio, fit2b, and if you search through my blog, you will see that many times it has been a lifesaver to me. The online community of current members, old members, and want to be members, plus the encouragement and love given by the founder Beth Learn, who is a friend from back in the days of PK and PM (pre kids and pre marriage), has saved my sanity and often led to better ways of viewing and talking to and of myself, not to mention the actual physical benefits  of the workouts.


I am going to try to share my story and my struggles on here, as a way to keep myself accountable, as a way of releasing the stress associated with changing a lifestyle, and as a way of….just writing exercise I guess! lol!

During all of this, I have had friends and family who continue to encourage me along the way. I still have days where I struggle with depression,and sometimes wonder if I always will ,  maybe that is my struggle, but I know the more I try to take care of myself, the better I feel.

What’s holding you back from changing things in your life for the better? Anything I can help with? If theres one thing I’ve learned, it’s that you can’t make someone change, even for their own healths sake, but you can come alongside  of them to ease the struggle and to encourage one another.


Thanks for visiting!