So my husband and I just recently found out that we are expecting a child in December… I am stealing off of his idea for it being a new chapter in our life and am thinking about bringing a twist into it.
The other day at church, I was listening to the person bringing the Lords Supper talk and was reminded of the suffering he went through and how God saw his own son suffer and then my mind started thinking about Mary, the mother of Jesus and how she must have felt as a mother seeing her son suffer… and that brought my mind to thinking of when we usually celebrate the birth of Christ, which is right around my due date- December 27th. I got to thinking about how as parents it must have been super hard to see Jesus suffer, knowing and thinking about the thoughts you had while he was in your womb, and for God seeing him suffer knowing he could stop it and yet knowing that it was needed.
Obviously, being a mom (well, in about 8 months I will be!) I was thinking about the journey that Mary must have gone through. So I thought about chroniclingmy pregnancy and the feelings and emotions that go with it, and comparing that to what the scripture has to say about Mary’s pregnancy. Just a thought for now, I will try to write some here tonight, but as for the rest of the pregnancy, we will see what happens. I hear things have a way of interfering in “normal” day to day life. Lord willing, I will be able to do this at least once a week. For some of you guys out there, it might not mean as much, but hopefully that doesn’t stop ya from checking out! Please feel free to comment on what you think might have been going on in Mary’s mind, or Josephs mind for that matter. Don’t refrain from commenting just cuz its about pregnancy, I will try not to put anything gross (altho, some of it may seem gross, I apologize in advance) or inappropriate in here.
6 WEEKS ALONG (ME):
Emotional State: I am so excited for this child to enter the world and yet so nervous at the same time. I feel blessed that we will get to be parents, but also worried at times that we will not be adequately qualified to raise this child in the best way possible. Or that we will miss out on teaching it some important thing that its going to need for later on in life. I feel overwhelmed at all of the possibilities that there are for things to go wrong, and also at all the possibilities for all the things we “need” to get done before the 9 months are up. There have been times when someone has mentioned how big (or little) our family is, and normally I just think of Cris and I and then *WHAM* I remember that I am pregnant and there is another one to consider into the equation now. At times it is easy for me not to think about being pregnant because my belly is not super huge yet and I can’t feel anything, so when I don’t think about it and someone brings something up, it hits me fast and hard that I am going to be a mommy and I am so not ready for it yet.
The physicalchanges I am going through are that I am super tired alllllllllllthe time, regardless of how much sleep I get. I get nausea at all times of the day, thankfully without the vomiting yet, and it typically goes away if I eat something or drink some water. I feel sorry for my husband who has to put up with me crying at him teasing me sometimes, and then laughing and in the middle of laughing I start crying because the teasing was “mean” to my poor shattered emotional state. 🙂
This was written obviously a couple of weeks ago as I am now 8 weeks alongand I meant to finish the rest of this, but due to pregnancy related problems, (nausea and just a general feeling of icky-ness) it has been hard for me to even write the things I have committed to other people that I would write (such as book reviews for the Christians Science Fiction and Fantasy Blog Tour).
Suffice it to say, this has been brewing in my head for awhile.
I have had what some might deem as the “typical” pregnancy symptoms… nausea, constipation, soreness, tiredness, tummy feeling “full”, weight loss (from not being able to eat!), emotional roller coasting, and while this all might be true that they are typical, it feels anything BUT typical to me.
That could be because this is my first time experiencing anything like this, but I did not realize how much of my life just an early pregnancy would affect. I thought that I would be more tired later on, when my stomach is out past my toes, or when I am getting ready to pop… I did not think that at only 2 Months Alongthat this would have such an affect on who I feel I am (I don’t feel like a “mom” yet, but I guess technically, I am), and who I think others view me as, I am not Becky anymore… I am Becky and Baby… or sometimes people come up and don’t see me, they just pat my tummy (without my permission I might add, add tummy pats to a nauseous belly… not a good combination), or who my husband sees me as. Sometimes I think he sees me as a ball of emotions. Thankfully, he has a good sense of humour, and is very loving and patient and can deal with me when I cry at the fact that there are no good Teriyaki shops around St. Helens like there was on every street corner in Seattle. Yes, that actually happened… just last night.
I have had very few cravings, and Teriyaki and Rice was the one I had last night… I have had more, but those I don’t consider real as they lasted for only about 5 minutes until I saw another commercial for some other food product. 🙂
Then you consider all the thoughts whirling around in my head… “I wonder when I’ll be able to feel it moving” or “I wonder if it can hear my voice yet” or sometimes even the “I wonder how cris is going to handle a newborn baby” just to mention a few and I feel like I am….addle-brained. I know many women have gone through this before and that God, the ultimate designer and creator, has made a woman’s body to be able to handle these changes, but its all sooooo new, despite it going on for ages and ages past.
I will try to post about Mary’s side of this sometime later this week…